just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
