Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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