i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Be still, my beating vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
