yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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