i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
