when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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