Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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