I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize