I wanna bring you to show and tell
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
