I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
