And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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