And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..