Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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