TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
