Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
