Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
