apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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