So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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