I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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