We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
