Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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