OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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