I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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