Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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