So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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