If i could tip my vagina, i would.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
