oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
