Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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