You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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