I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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