he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
