well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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