I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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