last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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