He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need to calm my uterus...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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