I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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