We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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