There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
