About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
