dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Still dying that you shit outside
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
