A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
