Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My liver is preforming stress tests.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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