You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize