At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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