Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
