Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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