Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
