i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
