please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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