My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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