I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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