why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
