The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
