I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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