I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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