i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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