I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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