Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
