Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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