Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
