Quick, to the slutcave!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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