She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize