so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
whose ass print is on the piano?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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