I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
