Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
