His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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