I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.