Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.

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(763): My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats. http://tfl.nu/m7i1

Replies (1) Good night (1834) Bad night (701)
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(858): View more from California

You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat. http://tfl.nu/yzbr

Replies (19) Good night (12776) Bad night (1100)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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(440): I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot. http://tfl.nu/w3xr

Replies (14) Good night (933) Bad night (2544)
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(631): View more from New York

Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

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(631): Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2wq0

Replies (47) Good night (4849) Bad night (1113)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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(615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94

Replies (27) Good night (4365) Bad night (872)
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(646): View more from New York

They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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(646): They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?! http://tfl.nu/7uj0

Replies (10) Good night (6967) Bad night (1213)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

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(412): when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home http://tfl.nu/u8cd

Replies (8) Good night (3200) Bad night (1119)
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(602): View more from Arizona

One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them

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(602): One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them http://tfl.nu/t9s2

Replies (8) Good night (3507) Bad night (1148)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over

(1+44): View more from

Wet with either fear or sexual excitement

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think a mixture of both is appropriate

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(+44): Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over (1+44): Wet with either fear or sexual excitement (+44): I think a mixture of both is appropriate http://tfl.nu/euq8

Replies (3) Good night (1770) Bad night (625)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well

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(614): Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well http://tfl.nu/giyd

Replies (14) Good night (664) Bad night (454)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire

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(734): Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire http://tfl.nu/5fup

Replies (6) Good night (1668) Bad night (562)
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(916): View more from California

What's the place called?

(916): View more from California

I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results

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(916): What's the place called? (916): I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results http://tfl.nu/7h1g

Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (368)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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(715): The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together http://tfl.nu/qn3b

Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (366)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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(317): Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport http://tfl.nu/wqk2

Replies (3) Good night (1079) Bad night (314)
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(509): View more from Washington

you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to

(702): View more from Nevada

It's true

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(509): you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to (702): It's true http://tfl.nu/0sa6

Replies (2) Good night (672) Bad night (357)

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